1. Introduction
Lauren peeked from behind the stage curtains, shaking nervously. There was not an empty spot in the entire club. Just my luck. My first performance and the place is packed!
Keller! Some guy yelled, grabbing her by the arm. What are you doing, youre on in five!
S-sorry, I didnt know, she stammered. Her legs stumbled and tripped over stage equipment and wires in a halfhearted attempt to keep up.
The guy looked at her, his glare almost out of disgust. Just keep up, kid. I know youre some hotshot singer but around here you follow my rules, got that? He shoved her into a changing room, I hope you can get dressed in three minutes.
Lauren winced when he slammed the door shut, the small breeze smacking against her face. She stood there for a moment, frozen by insecurity and fear. What am I going to do if they hate my songs?
Hurry up, you have one minute.
Shit! C-coming! She ran around like a crazed animal with no sense of direction for about thirty seconds looking for her outfit.
The guy knocked, Keller, I am not going to tell you again. Come on, be a professional.
Give me ten seconds! Ow! She fell over, her sock halfway on.
"You have five. One.
Lauren nearly smashed her head on the corner of the dresser.
Two.
This is not going as I had planned. She put on her sleek, black shirt over her normal one.
Three.
Nearly diving into her jeans, she breathed heavily and sucked in her stomach to button them up.
Four.
Im coming! She came out of the room nearly gasping for air, quickly slipping on her shoes.
The guy grabbed her by the arm again, Theres hope for you after all.
Ladies and gentleman, Lauren could hear the announcer from all the way in the back of the stage. Tonight we have a new performer. Shes a local girl with the voice of an angel, so give her a warm welcome.
Lauren started hyperventilating the closer she got to the curtain. Breathe, breathe, breathe, you ninny!
Here she isLauren Keller!
Dont choke, the guy whispered in her ear before shoving her out onto the stage.
The stage lights permeated through both of her shirts. Sweat trickled down her left temple as she squinted, barely able to see the crowd over the lights. They looked like featureless puppets, both intimidating and horrific at the same time. Please dont choke, please don't choke.
Her insides screaming to run backstage, Lauren blinked as she felt the bass begin, heard the gentle rhythm of the drums accompanied by a slow, basic melody. It soothed her mind, bringing a lucid calmness along with it. This is my song, she was getting closer to the microphone, mentally keeping time with the music. I can do this. I will put my all into this performance! She smiled, getting ready to do what she was born to dosing.
On to Number Two: Love













Comments
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You can't change the world! You can change a person.
why can we change a person but not people?
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Check out my publishing business's first book
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You can't change the world! You can change a person.
why can we change a person but not people?
"What am I going to do if they hate my songs?"
and
"I can do this."
The only thing that really jumped out at me was this sentence:
Sweat was already trickling down her left temple, a sign of her uneasiness.
All you need to do is show us the sweat trickling down her temple. To say "a sign of her uneasiness" is redundant. Simply say, "Sweat trickled down her left temple." Along with that, remember that verbs ending with "ed" are more powerful than those ending with "ing."
Speaking of unique, I really like this description:
They looked like featureless puppets, both intimidating and horrific at the same time.
Great simile!
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Dare you to unlock the secrets of my mind...
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OBJECTION! I defy your logic, and everything it stands for!!!
Panton est substructio vero.
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Help support me by purchasing my book, Guardian's Glory! [link]
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Check out my publishing business's first book
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Check out my publishing business's first book
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Check out my publishing business's first book
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