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Creeks in My Heart by =Amriah:iconAmriah:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open




To hear the noise of your silence
                Gurgling,
                        Bubbling,
                                Pattering.

To feel the tranquility of your labor
                Flowing,
                        Rushing,
                                Pushing.

To learn your nature, to know mine
                Dipping,
                        Curving,
                                Moving.

To realize how long you are, how short I am
                Carving,
                        Smoothing,
                                Changing.

To hope you’ll stay long after I depart
                Diving,
                        Crashing,
                                Lasting.
©2009 =Amriah
:iconamriah:

Author's Comments

I wrote this while at Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park. There's a few picnic tables near this pretty creek. After eating lunch (and seeing those quirky birds) I wrote this poem. It says a lot about the creek itself, which turns into a beautiful waterfall as well as me. It was an interesting piece because I never use strange line breaks but I felt it was fitting since it flows like the water.

Comments


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:iconilluminara:
=illuminara Jun 11, 2009, 4:48:04 PM
Nice poem. I really like the flow and theme of it. :nod:

--
"As a nation of free men, we must live through all time or die by suicide." - Abraham Lincoln
--
Junior Admin for *TheWritersMeow.
:iconamriah:
=Amriah Jun 11, 2009, 5:20:05 PM
Thank you. =). It was spontaneous and fun to create. Especially the creek picture. I loved that little creek.

--
Check out my publishing business's first book:pointr: Intimate Journey: Battle Scars
:iconangeli-ii-demoni:
~Angeli-Ii-Demoni Jun 11, 2009, 9:12:01 PM
Lovely. It flows without effort, which is something I think a lot of people struggle with when writing poetry. You know, the line breaks sort of remind me of E. E. Cummings. He used line breaks a lot and even punctuation to make the poem flow in an unusual but artistic way. Yours is similar to that because you used the breaks to mimic the way a creek moves. That said, I really like this one. It makes you think about how everything is so large in this world compared with just one person. Great job!

--
Unless I grip the sword, I cannot protect you. While gripping the sword, I cannot embrace you.
:iconilluminara:
=illuminara Jun 12, 2009, 5:45:30 AM
Creeks can be very inspirational.

--
"As a nation of free men, we must live through all time or die by suicide." - Abraham Lincoln
--
Junior Admin for *TheWritersMeow.
:iconamriah:
=Amriah Jun 12, 2009, 10:50:22 AM
Well it reflects what I was thinking at the time. Because that creek turned into a beautiful, timeless waterfall and it made me wonder how small I am compared to something so grand. I haven't read much of Cummings' work, but I know of him. I thought the line breaks were very authentic and I was surprised at how well this poem came out. Though it took me forever to find all the -ing words. That part didn't flow as well but, in the end, you can't tell that. Thank you for the comment and the :+fav:! I'm glad you liked it.

--
Check out my publishing business's first book:pointr: Intimate Journey: Battle Scars
:iconroninspath:
=roninspath Jun 12, 2009, 12:43:19 PM
I love stylized poems like this. They're so... natural.

--
What lies beyond no one knows for sure. But if no one will muster the courage to step forth into the great unknown, no one will ever know.
:iconwizemanbob:
*wizemanbob Jun 12, 2009, 1:38:48 PM
See, now you've put your photography and your writing together.

The two complement each other quite well, and the one actually effects how the other is perceived.

This poem is very Zen. It reminds me how Bashô, Chiyo-ni, and other haikai wrote about nature in just a few words, yet captured the sensation that drew them to write in the first place.

--
The man is most original who can adapt from the greatest number of sources. ~Thomas Carlyle

I love being a writer. What I hate is paperwork. ~Peter de Vries
:iconamriah:
=Amriah Jun 13, 2009, 12:14:27 PM
Yeah, they're really awesome. I'm not an advocate of them, honestly, because I can never seem to do them correctly. But this one flowed out perfectly.

--
Check out my publishing business's first book:pointr: Intimate Journey: Battle Scars
:iconamriah:
=Amriah Jun 13, 2009, 12:17:30 PM
Zen? Hmm, I don't know what you're talking about but I'm glad you liked it. And yeah, the creek is in the picture is what I based the poem off of. I think I want to add more pictures to my pieces from now on because they do seem to help.

--
Check out my publishing business's first book:pointr: Intimate Journey: Battle Scars
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