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Deviating for a Day by =Amriah:iconAmriah:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Fixed




The stable rhythm
A known factor
The routine motions
An unknown catalyst

The hollow hole
A life-long token
The irregular beat
An unreliable void

The relieving respite
A numbing valley
The crimson water
An unavoidable obstacle

The urge to cry
A harmful crevice
The rushing current
An interesting feeling

The logic prevails
A destination resumes
The God of healing
An overwhelming love
©2009 =Amriah
:iconamriah:

Author's Comments

Words: approx. 62
Lines: 20
Stanzas: 5 (4 lines per stanza)

I'm not sure if I want to keep the river picture. Tell me if it fits the poem.

I'm just trying to vent some emotional stuff; Father's Day and I don't mesh together well. While I wish all the good, worthy fathers a Happy Father's Day, I just want to avoid the subject altogether. Feedback on the poem itself would be great.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconilluminara:
=illuminara Jun 21, 2009, 4:11:24 PM
The poem is good. The flow if it is steady, kinda like a river, so I guess the picture fits. :nod: This time, though, I can't say I understand the meaning, but that doesn't matter as long as it means something to you. :aww:

--
"As a nation of free men, we must live through all time or die by suicide." - Abraham Lincoln
--
Junior Admin for *TheWritersMeow.
:icondaneiki:
~daneiki Jun 21, 2009, 4:59:29 PM
I second Illuminara! I'm unclear on the meaning, but it feels deep (not scattered or sloppy), so I'm all about it.

--
It is always cold in Siberia...
:iconamriah:
=Amriah Jun 21, 2009, 6:03:09 PM
Thank you! I'm glad it's not scattered or sloppy; it just flew out of my brain earlier today.

--
Check out my publishing business's first book:pointr: Intimate Journey: Battle Scars
:iconamriah:
=Amriah Jun 21, 2009, 6:03:36 PM
It means a lot to me and I wrote it this way because anyone can get whatever they want out of it, and I vented my emotions so it works. :XD:

--
Check out my publishing business's first book:pointr: Intimate Journey: Battle Scars
:iconilluminara:
=illuminara Jun 21, 2009, 6:12:43 PM
Yup, that definitely works!

--
"As a nation of free men, we must live through all time or die by suicide." - Abraham Lincoln
--
Junior Admin for *TheWritersMeow.
:icondaneiki:
~daneiki Jun 21, 2009, 6:24:52 PM
The best stuff often does!

--
It is always cold in Siberia...
:iconmystery-of-sorrow:
=mystery-of-sorrow Jun 21, 2009, 9:48:52 PM
I liked it.

--
-David 'Bat' Ayala :batman:
•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•
My new mission statement: Hulk SMASH!
:iconamriah:
=Amriah Jun 22, 2009, 12:14:50 PM
I know, isn't it strange? Sometimes I want to write but I can't and nothing seems to really come out that clunky head of mine. :XD:. Then there are days that the creativity could make its own waterfall.

--
Check out my publishing business's first book:pointr: Intimate Journey: Battle Scars
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