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Trapped by =Amriah:iconAmriah:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Fixed




Looking for windows
Everything dims
Time freezes

Morbid depression
Either I fall or fly

Otherwise, I'll stumble
Underneath the strain
Tomorrow, can we leave?
©2009 =Amriah
:iconamriah:

Author's Comments

*Picture by ~awjay. The picture is not mine; ~awjay has allowed my use of it.

Words: approx. 23
Lines: 8
Stanzas: 3

This came out while we were talking about some serious issues about another person possibly moving into the house (that makes 8 total...).

I've never done this kind of poem before and I liked how it came out. I think this also shows how I feel about John (and my) family.

Comments


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:iconchaldemone:
~Chaldemone Jun 22, 2009, 10:29:13 PM
Aww... I think it came out quite nicely, particularly the last stanza as it flows much more smoothly. Try to work on connecting the thoughts in the preceding stanzas. ^^

--
William Faulkner: "The past is never dead; it's not even past."
:iconenkerzed:
~EnkerZed Jun 24, 2009, 3:46:44 AM
ah, an acrostic poem. it's been a while since i've seen one of those. well anyways, i particularly liked the "Either I fall or fly" part, probably because of how much it has to do with how i feel like everyday.

--
Bow ties and propeller hats are my specialty! ~ quothed Billy
:iconenkerzed:
~EnkerZed Jun 24, 2009, 3:50:46 AM
aw crap, i was suppose to say more stuff but absentmindedly clicked on send instead. AHEM, anyways, this poem utterly OOZES with emotion, something that should be the case with all poems, and all i have to say is that you've absolutely nailed it.

--
Bow ties and propeller hats are my specialty! ~ quothed Billy
:iconilluminara:
=illuminara Jun 24, 2009, 6:08:32 AM
Cool.

--
"As a nation of free men, we must live through all time or die by suicide." - Abraham Lincoln
--
Junior Admin for *TheWritersMeow.
:iconlarissa-bright:
*Larissa-Bright Jun 24, 2009, 12:28:40 PM
I like how it does all link together - despite initially appearing very fragmented.

--
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:iconeloquent-weapon:
*Eloquent-Weapon Jun 25, 2009, 11:04:51 AM
:) Very nice job.

--
Important Notice:
Shader 2.0/DirectX 9.0B: The composite shader has performed an illegal exception resulting in the value "float2 dither+uv" equaling -0. The system will now crash.
:iconamriah:
=Amriah Jun 25, 2009, 12:38:47 PM
Thank you. =). I'm glad you liked it.

--
Check out my publishing business's first book:pointr: Intimate Journey: Battle Scars
:iconsythian:
~Sythian Jul 2, 2009, 8:38:37 AM
It did turn out rather nicely.
:iconaurek-san:
~aurek-san Jul 5, 2009, 3:13:16 PM
I like the way it seems like the speaker is considering jumping out the window, it makes a good poem awesome.
Not to mention the very fitting last line, sums up the whole mood so nicely. Definitely faved :)

--
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